Crossroads Blues

My road has once again forked, branched (or however you call it). What was once a single path turned out to have side streets. The events during the past weeks have been a whirlwind of sorts. Where a story ends, another begins. From one drama to the next, my life echoes the need to live my life the way I want it to be.

Somehow, I remind myself that I do have a choice whatever circumstances I am in. No matter how I've struggled to compartmentalize my life, it does find itself connected. After all, I am the same person who goes to work and shows up at home.

I am once again at the crossroads of my life. It's never easy and I strongly want to choose the easier path and the one with lesser responsibilities. I am just grateful that I can spend the next few days in peace as I go for some R & R. Thank goodness! I badly need a break from the monotony of my banking career (if it is even considered a career for crying out loud!).

For now, I'll let my mind drift to more pleasant thoughts. The thought of doing nothing and getting a much needed shuteye.

Settled But Not Quite

I recently moved out of my spacious office with a view to a decent work station that I jokingly call tenement. Separated by partitions, I just need to poke my head up and I can wave hello to my new neighbors a.k.a. co-workers. Last Friday afternoon was spent packing and arranging my files to my new home. It's a decent cube with enough space for my huge purse and what nots.

I think I have settled myself pretty well but not quite. More than the change in coordinates, it is really the change in responsibilities that make me feel unsettled. I don't look like it but I do. If only you could hear my daily prayer. It begins with a prayer for strength and ends with thanksgiving for making it through the day.

Well going back to my tenement living, my former colleagues would probably be surprised at how minimalist I could be. I myself am pleased at how I could let go and live with the bare necessities. Sans the candles, floral arrangement, paintings and brick-a-brack, I can make do of what I have though I think I can never win in Amazing Race or Survivor. That's just way too far my league of simplicity. I refuse!

I guess I should be happy with my progress. I have learned to simplify my life and slowly go with the flow.

Right by the Window

I enjoy the Makati skyline right at my office. I'm one of the fortunate ones who enjoy the poolside view of the Mandarin Hotel and the towering buildings at The Fort. The morning sun beams through my window while I hear the beeps of the traffic along Makati Avenue every day.

It's past 6 in the evening and I have called it a day. Today turned out well. I've been lacking sleep the past days and yet, I feel just as calm. Work is good - challenging. There might be major work changes in the coming days but nevertheless, I have somehow come to terms with what is to come.

I decided to put my thoughts down today just so you know I'm still alive and well. So much has happened in the past months but I am happy. Despite the adjustments and the struggles , I am happy where I am. Just happy.

My Valentine Week

It was nothing romantic. There was no smell of fresh flowers in my room. Nobody sent me one anyway (I think I sound bitter with this line). It was a whirlwind of events that led to a tantrum on Valentine's Eve. I think it was the lack of sleep. I can't even find a single word that would describe the past week. Detailing the events may help everyone understand how exactly my week was.

My family has started supplying cookie lollipops at a local candy store chain. The orders went well and it's being sold in high end stores in Rustans and The Fort. Yipee for this development! It was on a Wednesday that our products have entered the mainstream market. Yipee again!

The Valentine orders started to pour in as early as last weekend. It was hectic at home with all the baking and decorating. It was not a logistical nightmare until Friday the 13th. All the orders made it on time and the clients were happy. We received so many encouraging Thank Yous and messages of appreciation. This calls for another Yipee!

Valentine's Eve got me sooooooo uptight with non stop meetings and coordination concerns from home. Aaaaaaaaaa! I was throwing a fit on my way home. That moment was the culmination of my realization that I am back with my Supergirl / Wonderwoman / Batgirl cape. I've long kept that cape in my closet swearing never to wear them again but circumstances found its way to me (again!). I'm once again a superhero, juggler, high wire balancing act performer and I don't know what else. I'm back pulling things together. I'm letting this thought sit with me till I figure this out - why me and what the lesson for me is.

Today's Sunday and I'm taking this moment to think things through. I'm happy still. My mind is just filled with thoughts of the many things to do. Work is another story. I'm getting busier and busier at work and just like the cape, my fangs are back as well. I've vowed never to roar and pounce on anyone but someone is just triggering those tendencies. Needless to say, I'll be pouncing on her again tomorrow (I don't even know if this is a happy thought.)

Thank goodness for Becky's Kitchen Swiss Chocolate Cake. I found them on my way home last Friday. In the midst of whining, ranting and close to breaking down in tears, I knew what I needed to calm me down ... my favorite cake does it. Yipee!

Yahoo!

A massage before I call it a day. It's a weekly habit I can't seem to break. Just before I sat in front of the computer to blog about the past week's events, I had my therapist come see me on the 2nd consecutive night. I feel so sore and I must have worked myself out from the countless things I've been attending to.

For one, my biggest Yahoo the past week was being able to work out several deals for our family business. We've prayed hard as a family to be given an opportunity to enter the mainstream market and the past weeks have shown us the door.

This is what inspires me every single day. Just looking forward to what the new day would bring. I await the surprises that God has planned for me. I think I have found myself and my place under the sun.

Whirlwind of Events

You can tell by the number of my blogs I have posted in the past month that I'm pre-occupied. From the last time I posted an entry, so many things have happened. All of them good - positive stress, closure, opportunities and coming to my own person.

The first few weeks of January was stressful as I had to prepare for the Division's Business Planning. My presentation was well received (I'd like to think) albeit there were some areas for revision. I've been uptight for a couple weeks until I've learned to live with it. There's so much to be done but I guess the list of things to do will be endless.

Closure. Where does this fit in all of these? I've always prayed for the grace to forgive the people who have hurt me and the past month gave me that window of opportunity to forgive. To be able to sit on the same table with this person over lunch was one BIG step towards letting go of the past. Things do fall in place ... in time.

And the opportunity? What was it all about? My prayers have been less and less but with a conscious awareness of my spiritual connection. I'm awed with how circumstances have unfolded to pave the way for the granting of my family's wishes. I must have done something right to deserve all these blessings. I'm a few steps away from that BIG break I've been praying for. Thank you! Ultimately, I return all these to Him. O:-)

My Valentine

We're just 4 days past January and my mind is preoccupied thinking of what to do on Valentine's. Again, it's not about me but it's all about the cookies and pastries my family will be selling. Everyone knows how a big thing it is here. There are concerts left and right. Prices of flowers shoot up a few days before the 14th and people are "in love" on this day. I'm hearing "ooohs" and "aaahs" when someone at the office mysteriously receives a bouquet of flowers. Well not me. (Do I sound like I'm complaining?)

I'll be busy in the coming weeks preparing for new concepts in the baking room. As always, I look forward doing creative work. It does make me uptight thinking about the whole thing. On second thoughts, I shouldn't be at all.