Fallen

"I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it." - Seth

I'm such a sucker for romantic movies and last night was one of those moments that I watched City of Angels at Channel 24 (Yes this confirms the rumors that we have a TV at home.). I must have watched this film more then thrice and each every time, I'm moved to tears. It has also left me drooling for Nicolas Cage. For someone who has receding hairline, he just oozes with sex appeal (next to Richard Gere).

The movie talks about life, love and death all in the same breath. Whoever thought that angels were also given free will. Will to what? To fall. Be fallen. I was amazed at how simple things were portrayed in the movie and how it takes a lot to explain how pear tastes like or how rain feels on the skin or how a warm bath can be so relaxing. Taking warm baths is something that I enjoy. Back in Taipei, after a long day at work, I soak in the tub and enjoy a warm (bordering on the hot) bubble bath. These are my little joys.

I too have fallen. I've chosen to let go of where I was to focus on who I am. I've never been this happy to be at the crossroads. To be in the kitchen and cook lunch or dinner is so therapeutic. It sounds so domestic but I could never explain how it feels to be at peace with myself. I'm so used to the noise and being busy and when I chose to fall, all that was left was silence. When I was at San Francisco vacationing, I had the pleasure of having lunch alone at Strata, one of the asian fusion restos in Mayfield along Market Street. I was enjoying my Hainanese chicken while reading a book. All I had for company was Joel Osteen's Your Best Life Now. That book just really changed my life. After lunch, I sat on one of the lounging sofas under the skylight of the dome ceiling. I continued to read the book. Page by page, chapter by chapter. The silence was that calming. I never had this opportunity to be with myself and reflect. It was amazing.

I know myself so well that I can easily choose to fall and move on. I've learned to let go when I was jolted out of my comfort zone. I know when I'm the next one on the platform to take the dive. I know when the circumstances are conspiring for me to take on something else. To fall means I have the free will to do so and this is the most important lesson I have learned - THAT I HAVE A CHOICE.

That's Entertainment! - Life is truly showbiz.

I am a child of show business. Hadn't I been a corporate person, I would probably be in show business. Maybe a stand up comedian, a dramatic actress who happens to be a sing along master or even a host. My Sunday afternoons are spent sitting on the lounging chair watching what else, The Buzz!!! Certified chikadora! Explosibo! Abangan! Susunod! (Ok enough. I'm starting to hear Boy Abunda in my head.) It's a no brainer and it relaxes me in a funny way.

Life is a stage. That is what they say. I've met several people along the way and I can easily slide them into different characters based on their persona. So who are these people anyway?

1. Mike Enriquez - These are the people who love to investigate. They thrive on details and interrogations thrill them to no end. A typical conversation would be ...

Mike: Ayon sa aming impormante, ikaw daw ay pumuslit ng isang kahon ng staple wire. May katotohanan ba to?
him: Hende pu Ser.
Mike: Masasabi mo ba sa hukumang ito na ang sinasabi mo ay pawang katotohanan lamang?
him: U-po. Hende naman pu ako komoha nyan kasi ...
Mike: Sa presinto ka magpaliwanag! Hindi kita, tatantanannnnn!

2. Sleeping Beauty - Rock-a-bye baby in the tree top, when the wind blows the cradle will rock. Zzzz. These are characters who are often drifting in Lala Land even when it's time for Private Ryan to be saved.

him: Why don't you show Sleeping Beauty the report you drafted.
(Sleeping Beauty is seated on the side with her eyes half closed and her head swinging backward and forward).
Sleeping Beauty: Zzzzz.
him: Sleeping Beauty?
Sleeping Beauty: (suddenly roused from sleep and appearing to be surprised) Ano yun? A-B-S? (Hindi. Sabi nila, check mo daw kung may stockings ka.)

3. Incredible Hulk - They appear to be calm or so I thought. They go about doing their jobs smiling and exchanging pleasantries and boom! They morph into monsters. Their eyes are raging and they can't wait to get their hands on you. You see their clothes starting to rip apart but funny, the trousers are always on (maybe they're garterized).

him: This is to update you on recents developments in Sulu.
Incredible Hulk: Ok. Good. What else? What else nga?!
(at this point, Hulk is turning green and all that is left are the trousers. Come fly with me, come fly fly away.)

4. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - One day you're in, next day you're out. This two-face character is self explanatory.

DAY 1:
Dr. Jekyll: Hello, hello, kamusta ka na? How are you?
him: Ok naman po.
Dr. Jekyll: That's good. Mabuti yan. I like you pa naman. Gusto kita.
him: Thank you po.

DAY 2:
Mr. Hyde: Ikaw, chini chorva mo lang ako eh.
him: Huh?
Mr. Hyde: My brother is not a pig!!! (Huh? Ano raw? Notski ka talaga!)

5. Noranians / Vilmanians - How I just love them. They are your support group and they cheer you on no matter what. They don't have the usual satin vests personalized with SOLID DYNAMIC FOREVER FRIENDS OF NORA but they are there. No sampaguitas, posters and banners just screams of "Aaaaaaaa!". That simply means they believe in you. Case in point are Judy Ann's fans issuing a statement against the Meralco brouhaha. Well, I haven't gotten to that point yet of issuing a statement but in many other ways, I did.

Scripts need stars and villains. The story wouldn't be as fun hadn't there been a car chase or some fist fight. Sometimes, we've got to stretch those muscles and see how far our reach is. Through it all, never get lost in the story. I once did and I'm now finding my way back to who I truly am. I've just recently bowed out from a long running stage play and I'm close to starring in a new production. Truly, life is showbiz.

The lights on the lady in tights or the bride with a guy on the side

Or the ball where she gives him her all

That's entertainment!

Peach Blossoms for Love?

I had a funny conversation with my youngest sister Orie a few days ago. I was seated by the computer in the study room when she came in eager to tell me about something she brought home. A peach blossom stone. I didn't have the slightest idea what it was till she excitedly told me what it was for.

she: Atchie (This is the chinese word for elder sister.), pinahiram ako ng officemate ko ng peach blossom.

me: Para saan yan?

she: This is for love. Para makahanap ng boyfriend.

At this point, I felt my right eyebrow raise questioning her of this life changing purpose.

me: Ha? Kailangan mo ba yan?!

Of course I felt that there are far more important things than finding a partner. I was thinking that Orie's only 25. There's her career and a whole lot of possibilities. Ok to continue ...

she: Sabi nila kailangan lang ipa-face yung stone sa southeast direction ng room.

I could feel a thought bubble popping out but this was where the catch was.

she: Eh hindi naman para sa akin ito eh. Ihaharap ko sa yo. Mas kailangan mo noh.

I could feel my eyes rolling but I couldn't help but laugh. Thirty one year old atchie is once again a case study for match making in a supernatural way. In order for the peach blossom to have an effect, it should be facing the southeast direction and lighted with a candle (electronic ones will do) at all times. Whoever needs love should be in that room for 3 hours. I hardly sleep in my room and I usually sleep in my brother's room where it's breezier and comfortable. I shared this story with my mom early this morning and she even had a more brilliant idea. That since I stay in the study room most of the time surfing the net, the peach blossom can work its way through me if it was strategically placed there. Isn't that something! I was simply laughing in disbelief.

Thirty something women are expected to have walked down the aisle and have babies. I used to be pressured in my 20s but as the years passed, the deadline was a moving target. First it was 28 then things didn't materialize so I pushed it a bit for 2 more years so it was 30. My career was doing well and still, the carrier of the XY chromosome was not around so I'm pushing it a bit further to a comfortable 35. There you have it. 3-5. I won't be surprised if it pushes to 3-7 and I dread the target 4-0. (Finish or not finish, pass your test papers.)

Most of my friends are either married or engaged. Certainly, there are also those (a good number of them actually) who can be potential members of my singles club. Again, singles are classified as those in between - not married and not engaged. So how does one really get matched? According to Rache, my good high school friend, there's St. Joseph's novena. He's the patron saint for good husbands. Then, there's the 6 degrees of network that I'm tapping into coming from family, friends, co-workers and even clients! It's very common for me to hear "Ay Melissa, single ka di ba? Ay ay! May friend ako. Papakilala ko sa yo." Then the carriers of the XY chromosome either send me a SMS asking me if I had lunch. Thank goodness the text wasn't phrased as "Kain na you?" Ewww. How juvenile. I didn't even know we were close! Some of the potential matches I do not hear from them at all. Maybe they were imaginary in the first place. Some sort of Snuffalufagus - Big Bird's imaginary best friend.

While the chromosome carriers are finding their way to me, I will be happily blogging away and enjoying my life. I always believe that things will fall into place in God's time. While I'm being given so many opportunities to see the world, I might as well make the most of it. Love blossoms at the right time and when that time comes, I know which direction to face so I'd easily recognize that he is the one minus the stone, the candles and the compass.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe

Choices, choices and more choices. Life is about decisions. Everything for that matter is all about decisions. Just thinking of what the title for this blog would be needed my decision. As a kid, I always had this one liner in mind - "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe". That children's rhyme required anyone saying it to choose something. (Trivia: For the longest time I thought "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe" was followed by the line "Sinong matalo syang unggoy!" It took a good friend of mine to point out to me that those 2 lines weren't suppose to be together. Oh well.)

Since I left my job, so many wonderful things have been unfolding every single day. I've always wanted to make decisions for myself so now that's exactly what I am doing. For the most part of my life, I went with the flow. Wherever the tide takes me, expect me to be there adrift in my bikini. To where, I don't exactly know where to. All my previous jobs fell on my lap. Job hunting was hardly in my vocabulary. My dad was my talent manager and he was good at it. Ours was not quite like a Boy Abunda - Ai Ai delas Alas kind of manager-talent relationship but the jobs I took on were blockbuster moves.

Initially, the transition from an executive to an executive wannabe was challenging. For someone who was trained to be alert, awake, alive and enthusiastic 24/7, it was initially a horror to be in between jobs. The thought of being on vacation for an undetermined period of time was alien to me. So many things were running through my mind. What should I do? Letter A - look for a job, B - go on vacation, C - both A and B or D - none of the above. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Did I even have to make a decision that instant or should I just while my time away to clear out the negativity as someone advised me. It has been almost 2 months and I've done letters A and B and I am still at it.

Searching for that almost perfect job takes a while not because there is a scarcity of openings in the market but I want to carefully choose my next adventure. It must have been very tempting for my talent manager also known as my dad, not to "sell" her daughter to his network of connections. There were several instances when Pa wanted to pull some strings just so his talent (that's me) would get into another Star Cinema hit but I declined. This time around, this talent wants to choose for herself and that is exactly what I did.

I realized that there was no such thing as a perfect job or company. Had everything been perfect, my expertise would not have been needed. I've been to several job interviews and I'm close to getting a job offer anytime soon. I cannot have everything as well. Company A has a nice office but it's just a startup business. Company B is stable but the office needs to be introduced to the concept of 5S. Company C is a business giant but can't seem to figure out where to fit me in their organization. Company D is the perfect one for me with its results driven culture and seemingly professional work environment but they haven't called me yet! I can go on forever detailing what is lacking in each company that I go to but ultimately (this seems to be my favorite word lately), it is my choice what I want to do and what is important for me.

I want to do so many things in my life. Be a banker. Be in training. Learn culinary arts. Get into the fashion and beauty industry. Be an executive who travels the world. Get my foot into multinational companies. I can't seem to get enough of it. The list can go on forever. At the end of the day, it will all boil down to just one job offer. One that feels right. A job that empowers me. And it has to be the next adventure that will take me to greater heights till the time I have to take pause again and do another "eeny, meeny, miny, moe".

Are you free for an interview?

Being in between jobs is a profession in itself. I've been taking a pause for a couple of months now and I've been busy going to several job interviews. The mere sound of hearing my ring tone for unknown callers delights me to no end. At the other end of the line is a job waiting for me.

she: Melissa, this is X from Y Company. Are you free for an interview on Z day?
me: Certainly I am free!

Last week alone brought me to six different job interviews from different industries and all in the line of marketing and business development. Each interview is an adventure in itself but what is common in all these meetings is how I present myself. Being the corporate person that I am, I of course come in my 3 piece suit. To complete the look, I just have to be in something funky - my new found pointed black leather boots. I usually take the taxi but this time around, I'd like the feel of being with everyone (a.k.a. masses). So here is where my story begins. These are a few of my adventures last week.

Company 1. The financial services company. The office was presentable, modest in size and organized for my standards. The first interview was with the HR Head after which I had my second interview with the boss. He's a foreign national by the way and that meant that I had to convey all my thoughts in English. Thank goodness I didn't need Kleenex to stop my nose from bleeding. Overall, the interview went well. Lesson learned: It pays to be exposed to different people with different accents and different cultures.

Company 2. I took a bus ride to this company based in Ortigas. Little had I known that the bus ride will take more than an hour with its turtle pace and stopping at every corner possible. It left me with just 5 minutes to "walk" from EDSA to ADB Avenue. "Walk" at that time meant that I had to run in my skirt and 3 inch shoes. I was running like crazy just so I can make it on time. I was fully made up and I was running at a pace where I think I could have outlasted professional tracksters. When I got to the building's reception area, I was close to asking for a brown bag and was panting like anything. Thinking that I could get away without securing an ID for the top floor, I waited for the elevator and when finally it opened, manong security guard instructed me that I needed an ID. Pleading that I was running out of time, I had no other way but to secure a building pass. Sigh. Lesson learned: 1.5 hours travel time is not enough in Metro Manila and my charms no matter how I use it are no match to security.

Company 3. Did I say I love training people? In another lifetime, I probably would have been in Training. Ok so last week, I had a chance of being interviewed by a lady director for a training institute. It was somewhere in Makati and I had to take a jeep to get there. I listed the directions in my ever reliable notebook and finally, I found the landmarks where I should be alighting. I had an interesting conversation with the lady boss and was asked how a company such as theirs can be marketed. My golly Melissa, you have to think on your feet! This was a new industry of which I never had any experience. Indeed, it pays to compose one's self prior to answering any question. It helps to gather my thoughts. Again, I think I was able to convince her with my answers. If only I had an audience like the ones in Deal or No Deal, I could hear cheers of "Good answer! Good answer!" Lesson learned: It's not easy being in a beauty pageant's question and answer portion. Job interviews do not ask about the essence of a woman or how we could save Mother Earth. Another lesson is that manong jeepney driver knows best. After all, he was the one who prompted me to alight.

Company 4. A known retail store gave me an assignment of visiting one of their branches prior to the job interview. Obedient as I was, I went for a store visit and took note of the areas that my interviewer would possibly ask me. After a few hours of observing the operations, I proceeded to the head office in Makati. I was instructed to use the employee's entrance to reach the Executive Office. I had to go down the Lower Ground level and take the elevator and after a few turns here and there, I reached my destination. The top floor was more like a residential unit turned commercial space. I was early by 30 minutes so I comfortably sat there reading a book. As the hour of 5 was nearing, I was informed that the interviewer was still not around. I waited for another 30 minutes. After a few chapters from the book I Dare You by Joyce Meyer, a lady executive entered the reception area and I was signalled by the guard that she was the one I was meeting up with. Another staff directed me to the boss' office and I had another opportunity for a question and answer portion. After I introduced myself, I was asked "What can you do for us?" Hmmm, it was a big question that required specific answers. It sure helped that I had several inputs fresh from my day trip to their store. Whew! That was close. Having survived the interview, I again went around the building to find my way out and I chanced upon the different offices and messhall for the employees. I felt like going through the tunnels of Corregidor! The messhall was sad and gloomy and I heard chit chats from the throngs of staff having their snack breaks. There's so much that can be done to improve the work space to make the staff proud of where they work but hey, I'm just an applicant with random thoughts. Lesson learned: In as much as I had several ideas, I may not necessarily be a fit for the work culture and philosophy.

I consider myself now a professional in job hunting. No matter what questions are thrown my way, I always had the answers for it. Interviews are challenging, thought provoking and a test of my mettle. I still have interviews set for this week and I look forward to each one. Oh by the way, should anybody ask how my black leather boots are doing, well, I had to ask my dad to have the right one repaired last Saturday. The sole of the right heel kind of gave up on me. After all, it endured the rains, floods and most of all, my running towards becoming Manila's next top professional.