Fallen

"I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it." - Seth

I'm such a sucker for romantic movies and last night was one of those moments that I watched City of Angels at Channel 24 (Yes this confirms the rumors that we have a TV at home.). I must have watched this film more then thrice and each every time, I'm moved to tears. It has also left me drooling for Nicolas Cage. For someone who has receding hairline, he just oozes with sex appeal (next to Richard Gere).

The movie talks about life, love and death all in the same breath. Whoever thought that angels were also given free will. Will to what? To fall. Be fallen. I was amazed at how simple things were portrayed in the movie and how it takes a lot to explain how pear tastes like or how rain feels on the skin or how a warm bath can be so relaxing. Taking warm baths is something that I enjoy. Back in Taipei, after a long day at work, I soak in the tub and enjoy a warm (bordering on the hot) bubble bath. These are my little joys.

I too have fallen. I've chosen to let go of where I was to focus on who I am. I've never been this happy to be at the crossroads. To be in the kitchen and cook lunch or dinner is so therapeutic. It sounds so domestic but I could never explain how it feels to be at peace with myself. I'm so used to the noise and being busy and when I chose to fall, all that was left was silence. When I was at San Francisco vacationing, I had the pleasure of having lunch alone at Strata, one of the asian fusion restos in Mayfield along Market Street. I was enjoying my Hainanese chicken while reading a book. All I had for company was Joel Osteen's Your Best Life Now. That book just really changed my life. After lunch, I sat on one of the lounging sofas under the skylight of the dome ceiling. I continued to read the book. Page by page, chapter by chapter. The silence was that calming. I never had this opportunity to be with myself and reflect. It was amazing.

I know myself so well that I can easily choose to fall and move on. I've learned to let go when I was jolted out of my comfort zone. I know when I'm the next one on the platform to take the dive. I know when the circumstances are conspiring for me to take on something else. To fall means I have the free will to do so and this is the most important lesson I have learned - THAT I HAVE A CHOICE.