Revisiting the Past

My long weekend was spent reliving memories as far as ten years back. Sunday afternoon, I was at the mall with E, my college friend. Notwithstanding the fact that it was raining outside and the weather was a bit cold, we both settled for Razon's halo halo. We chatted for an hour or so discussing her matters of the heart. I should very well understand her as I myself experienced the very same thing she is going through now many many years ago. It was a case of E being a Chinese and E's boyfriend a Filipino. Nothing wrong with that not until you take into consideration the opinions of the family - dad, mom, brothers and sisters. Her heartaches reminded me of my very own circumstances when I was in my late teens to early twenties. To this day, I do not completely comprehend how interracial relationships can be such a daunting task to be openly discussed and accepted in the family and how tradition dictates so much how matters of the heart are to be managed. Admittedly, I think differently and by standards, I'm not as conservative as the others are. Definitely, the question of interracial relationships does not end with my generation and I am hoping that I do not restrict my own children as well when the time comes. Should you ask me if I'll consider marrying someone of a different race / culture, I would. As long as we can happily grow old together without pulling each other's hair, I'm fine with it.

It was also yesterday that I had a late afternoon coffee with my former boss who was in town visiting. The last time I saw him was five months ago and we spent 3 hours catching up at M Cafe. We said our hellos and we were both happy to see each other. Despite the distance, we kept each other posted by email but I waited for this moment to thoroughly discuss the recent events in my life. I discussed in detail the reasons why I changed careers and he listened intently and gave me his two cents worth about the turn of events. My wounds have somehow healed but it did sting while I recounted what were said and done. He said his opinion from a third person's point of view and after we called it a night, I thought about our conversation. On my way home, my mind took me back to my last moments at my previous job and I felt that whatever opinions there are, it doesn't really matter anymore. I know that I never shortchanged anyone and I spoke the truth until the end. What mattered was I spoke my mind and I dared to give my dreams a chance and live my life the way I want it. The experience of sitting across my former boss felt very surreal as the circumstances have changed and so did our relationship. I truly appreciate that we have evolved from a mentor-subordinate relationship to that of being good friends. I used to initially abhor working with him given his work demands but I survived it all and I thanked him that night for training me well.

The last of my visit to the past was this afternoon. Together with my college friend E, I visited my college professor in religion. I previously blogged about him and finally, I was able to see him after ten years. It was a happy reunion and though he suffered a heart attack and stroke a couple of years back, his memory was still clear and he still spoke of his apostolate work and how he wanted to continue helping the less fortunate. He didn't speak as much as he had some difficulty expressing himself but I was delighted to reminisce my college days. His home was very near La Salle and E even asked me while we were crossing Taft Avenue if I did miss crossing that very street. I didn't. In as much as I was glad to go back to the past, I don't miss the past as much. Not a bit of nostalgia. Maybe because I know that I enjoyed everything while it lasted. When it's time to move on, I let go though initially with hesitation. Surprisingly, I noticed that it has been quite fast for me to open new chapters in my life. The past is nice to revisit but it's not where I can live. My long weekend all the more reiterates that all I ever have is today.

This poem / prayer below was forwarded to me and it brings me peace and I truly feel loved. You know how I am lately, I'm one with the world. Have a nice week ahead. Life is meant to be lived forward. :-)

That today you find peace inside you

that you can confide in your highest power because you are exactly where you are supposed to be

but do not forget the infinite possibilities that are born from the faith

that you may use the gifts that you have received and transfer the love that has been given to you

to make you feel satisfied that you are a child of God.

Allow his presence in your bones and give your soul the liberty to sing, dance and be warmed by the sun

that is there for everyone and each one of us.