Driving Me Crazy

It took 3 years for me to enroll in a driving class. Back in 2005, I even took the written driving exam in California. I got myself a handbook in DMV and I reviewed it like a diligent student. I even highlighted what I thought was important. It did pay off as I only had 1 mistake during the exam. Funny but I never got myself to take the practical exam because I didn’t know how to drive. I was hoping to stay in Los Angeles a little bit longer to learn how to drive SANELY.

Last Tuesday, Pa accompanied me to the La Loma branch of LTO. It looked more like a warehouse to me than a government office. The galvanized iron ceiling and monoblock benches made the whole place seem primitive. I felt like I was in some sort of a warehouse where I needed to carry sack loads of NFA rice. Anyway, a lady brought my application inside the office and instructed me to wait. So I obediently took a seat and hardly moved. The place was dirty and one wrong move, I felt I will be struck with tuberculosis or worse, SARS. The floor was wet and a man somewhere in his late 40s used a dust pan to put the water in a bucket and guess what? The dark, murky water was used to water a plant in the middle of the waiting area. We (meaning me and the rest of the Republic of the Philippines waiting for their licenses) were watching him pour the water. Think the problem was solved? Hell no! The excess water from the plant was again overflowing on the floor. Really smart. I got my student permit in less than an hour.

After two days, I got myself enrolled in A1 at SM Manila. Boy, it was quite a wait. I was at the office around 12:30 PM and the office was closed and I saw the sign BREAK by the counter. So I guess this will be quite a wait. I decided to have lunch at Pho Hoa and enroll after I enjoy my chicken pho. I could see from afar that after quite sometime, the office was open. Yipee! I signaled the server for the bill and I hurriedly left. When I reached the office, for some strange reason, it was again closed. Again, there was a sign by the counter that read OUT FOR C.R. This enrolment is taking longer than expected. I don’t know if this was some way to drum up excitement for my much awaited driving class. Sigh. So I got my phone and fixed my schedule and texted a few friends and my parents. Ten minutes has passed and finally a lady opened the office.

her: Matagal ka nag antay?
me: Medyo. Kanina kasi naka lunch break ka tapos nag C.R. ka naman nung bumalik na ako (Feisty!).
her: Hindi naman ako nagtagal. May binili lang ako. (She raises her hand showing me her National Bookstore plastic.)
me: Mag e enroll ako ng driving. Manual car tapos 20 hours.

At this point, I was reading the schedules posted by the counter.

me: Miss, ano tong Orientation class na to?
her: Ituturo sa inyo yung pre-routine bago mag drive tsaka yung basics.
me: Ah ok.
her: Pero optional lang yan.

I’m like WHAT?! Optional?! How can one learn how to drive without knowing the basics. So I continued …

me: Mag a attend ako nyan noh!!! (I was in disbelief hearing this.)

Being the ever observant person that I am, I once again asked.

me: Eh miss, ano naman tong Lecture Schedules na to?
her: Tuturuan kayo ng road signs, defensive driving. Pero optional lang din yan.

DUH?! Optional again?!

me: Mag a attend din ako nyan noh!!!

So I scheduled myself to these two classes. I attended the Orientation class yesterday and the Lecture would be next Saturday at the Mall of Asia office. How the hell can these classes be optional? I don’t get it. No wonder the Philippines is abound with drivers who leave professionals no option but to blow their horns away or worse ...

Yesterday’s two-hour orientation was pretty good. The lecturer was very intense. He hardly grasped for air while explaining the basics of driving. I wanted to hook him to an oxygen tank. He was animated. To illustrate, he wrote the letters C, B and G on the white board. C for clutch, B for brake and G for gas. He explained what these were for and taught us the basics of how to get a car started. So he gave us a scenario - how to start the car and which gears to shift. What he did was to place both his hands on the white board as if these were the pedals over the letters C, B and G and asked us “Paano ko ista-start ng car?” Everyone gave different answers on what to step on and which gears to shift until he said “Hindi ako gagalaw dito hanggat di nyo nasasabi ang tamang sagot!” Well, nobody gave the correct answers (of course we were beginners!) and the lecturer answered his own question lest he wanted his hands to be forever stuck on the white board.

I can’t wait to have my first driving lesson tomorrow. Honestly, I’m having a mental block as of this writing and I could hardly recall what pedals to step on. Heaven forbid I run over a cat.